I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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