My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
