I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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