Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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