its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
