we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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