I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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