So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
