somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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