trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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