It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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