It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize