Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
