If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
