i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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