I wish my penis had an off switch
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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