just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
