Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
