no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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