Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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