We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
