you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
