But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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