I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
