Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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