I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
