In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I deserve this hangover.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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