Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
