Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
