I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Even my vagina gasped.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
