You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
sex in a hospital.. check
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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