she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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