I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
he puts the penis in happiness.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
