I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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