dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?