i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.