I'm going to jail i love you
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Four minutes until I can fart!
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Dick very happy bro