Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me