you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
we should paint friendship bongs
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