hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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