Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
