I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
