honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
