idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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