You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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