you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
