You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
