all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize