She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I cockslap morals
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
