The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize