oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
