I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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