Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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