i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
