What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
