He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
