There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize