Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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