I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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