Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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