Your face is a jimmy john
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
