my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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