I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
What a dumb baby whore.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
