You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I think I just sharted jello shots
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
