I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
