after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
