He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
