girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There r osticjed everywhere
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
