those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
