is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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