Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
