goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
