Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
