you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Is Oprah even human
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize