if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
